Twas the Week Before Christmas....

T’was the week before Christmas and all through the trails,
We kept hearing the noise of faint jingle bells.
Mama in her thermals, and I with my map,
Our Polaris stalled out and I thought, Oh crap!
We had enjoyed the scenery so much -we talked for ages,
Low and behold we ignored all the gauges,
And that was how it all came to pass,
So much fun on the trails, we ran out of gas!
We started to shake, we started to shiver,
We got kinda thirsty, our hands they did quiver,
When what to our wondering eyes should appear,
But a large chubby fellow, in a sled hauled by deer!
I had never seen such and old fashioned ride,
It looked like a barrel, with rails down the side,
And the beasts that did haul it, were a wonder too,
They may have been elk, or possibly caribou!
The man who climbed out was quite a sight to see,
Like an old mountain man, all gruff and blustery,
He had a long wooly beard, his clothing was weird.
A red hood on his head,
A red furry coat that fell open by chance,
To reveal beat up sneakers and bright red sweat pants,
He was big and burly and woolly as could be,
Like an old timey Viking come home from the Sea;
He stopped and said “Howdy, y’all looks to be in a muss,
Good thing I was out deliverin’ gifts a-for Christmas.”
He reached in his sled and pulled out a red fuel can,
said,“Put this in your tank, an' git movin’ man!”
That big bearded fellow, so large and so slow,
His breath making clouds in the wind full of snow,
He reached in his bag, and said, “You can use this here,”
And handed over some Hatfield McCoy trail gear.
For mama he gave, a nice hoodie with sleeves.
With a logo on the back, featuring angel’s wings.
For me he gave a green baseball cap, and said,
“Most of your heat, escapes through your head,
I always carry warm stuff when out in my sled.”
He wished us goodbye as we got on our way,
And we looked back in gratitude as he left on his sleigh;
A little while later a ranger we saw, we stopped to discuss
And try got get thawed.
The SUV he was in was as white as winter snow,
It said, “Hatfield-McCoy Law Enforcement” you know.
We asked the young ranger, “Was that Santa Claus?”
He started to laugh then he started to pause.
“Nah, that was Big Jim, he is one of our CSRS,
He comes from Kentucky and is primitive and don’t much trust cars.”
He invited us back and we said we’ll come next summer,
Cuz without West Virginia Hospitality today could have been a bummer!
So come on to the trails in spring or winter time.
The scenery is beautiful, its’ truly sublime.
The folks are so friendly they treat you so nice,
Come get a piece of heaven, your own little slice.

"Happy Holidays from the Hatfield-McCoy crew."
(And remember, stop by our trail heads and visit with our friendly CSRs and check out the latest in authorized Hatfield-McCoy Trail Gear.They are there to make your trip an enjoyable one.)